Sunday, May 12, 2013

Devil, unknown

I saw him from the corner of my eye. He was wearing a white shirt, it had some spots that I could not see with my blur vision. I tried to focus, for some time that I was focusing I was gasping for some breath, my heart beating faster. Blood!!!

Rewind, to that morning. I was traveling to meet this friend of mine who I had not seen in ages. I had avoided  him for some reason that I could not remember now. He, though was as always thoughtful, supportive. I could not think of any reason on this planet why I would want to hurt him. We had walked miles together on bright sunny and sweaty afternoons. We had counted stars on cloudless nights, promising to get the final count tallied. We swore that we would make the trees sway with our breaths. He was like my shadow who would follow or lead me at times in this walk of life. He had helped me recover from a mishap, picked thorns from my feet and sensed a concern in my silence.

He and I had a fight before a few years and I do not remember the reason. Ego won! We stopped being in touch for a long time and we continued on our separate paths. I stumbled at start, fell in potholes which I should have spotted from distance. I thought this is a learning curve that I have to go through because of being lonely. However, I would come out stronger of this situation as I had always done.

After a few years, we somehow met in a friend's marriage. We looked at each other and realized that past is past and we should get back together - as friends, as dream watchers and as time chasers. We thought we have left everything behind and things would be fine now. They would come to a point where we would pick things from where we had left them - all that was needed to be done was dusting of a few thoughts. We started talking about those endless walks that wore out the roads to dreamland. The sky was blue and open again. I could breathe freely without any feeling of walls closing on me.

After that meeting we decided to meet at our old spot. This would be a meeting that would lay seeds for a new future. I did not expect this way though. He wore a spotless white shirt and blue denim jeans. We used to come there during our engineering days to share our troubles, gossips or just to be calm. Suddenly, I felt giddy, like something sharp had hit me. My vision was getting blurry, I could breathe only in gasps and lost consciousness.  I saw him walk close to me at first. I looked at his shirt and I saw blood on it, a red spray. My stomach churned and I touched my shirt and saw my hands dripping with red blood. That smell of blood was so distinct. I fell to my knees and kept losing my grip on consciousness.

I suddenly saw him run away from me, he was fading away. I was going to die at the spot where I had spent the most trusted moments of my life. I got up with sudden jolt. I got up with my hands still dry, still red. I looked at them and it was not hurting anymore. I got up, first on my knees and then on my legs. I walked in the direction he ran. The pain was gone. I saw a trail mark of blood and few steps around the corner I saw him lying down. I went closer to him, shook him but he would not respond. I checked his pulse, he had moved on forever. I had killed him, in rage, in frustration and in confusion. I wanted to show him I had a bigger ego and I was not a victim. But I was one, I just didnt know it yet! I was a devil, unknown.