Notes...

An evening. Puzzled, confused! Restlessness is overshadowing the moments and I fail to understand why. There is a variety of reasons for this to happen, which I do not think I should discuss here.

I have been reading this novel 'Sphere' by Michael Crichton. The best part of the novel is that I know what is coming but the way it is brought up is very shocking and different. The characters in the story have been developed very well as the pages turn.

I am using Pandora more often, the reason being that songs and singers are better linked. Eddie Vedder Radio created on Pandora is a fave. Wonder why the concept of Pandora took so long to develop? I searched for a Bollywood version of the same and could not find any.

With trip for India planned, I am thinking more about it. Looking forward to that trip, would be an understatement. With festivities beginning back home comes a lot of excitement and nostalgia.

Enjoy every step!

Weekend update

So the longest weekend ever in my school life is coming to an end! 4 days in a row can't get any better. Though most of it was spent amongst friends, shopping or reading a Sci-fi novel 'Sphere', it was much more than that.

American football: This was fun to watch. However, let me squeeze in another experience called Tailgate. Tailgate is a pre-game get together where people come together, grill some food and drink some beer. Its more of bonding and networking opportunity. People are on a high to hit the game and otherwise on the food and drinks. Though it was raining my classmates had enthu to gather in a parking garage and enjoy some air-time. Fun!!

Getting to American football. It was a game that BC dominated against Kent State school. They demolished them 21-0 by the second quarter. Yellow and Maroon supporting BC overcrowded even the sky. As the 2 big screens in the stadium flashed we were understanding the game. I am 23.89% more comfortable with the game now!

Soccer: I would have proudly said 'football' while in India, Soccer was a game of fun today. Though some jokes were cracked by American and Mauritian friends on IST, I was trying to convince that we have a good crowd heading and it will be a great game. With 4 players on either side, it was a fast moving game. With both the teams scoring 7 goals each, it was down to the golden goal. The last few minutes were roller-coaster ride. We attempted thrice and almost hit the pole once, but we lost it to white-T-team.

So, overall a good weekend! Now let me get back to the book. Adios!!

Pop-goes-the-cork!!

Has this ever happened to you? You have been sliced and pushed down with so much of pressure that you hardly find time to breathe. To top it off, you get stuffed in all the aspects of life such as your professional, personal, too-personal and social sides covered in deep-sh** and you cannot even run away and face them with all the weapons you have in your store, is the only option.

So, what you do is learn the skill of fighting in all the rings or war-fields and all of a sudden you blink and it all disappears! Its like you are standing in the middle of a ghost-Detroit-town and everything and everyone’s gone. You have the same puzzled look and peace masks as your enemy. Staring into the Sun till it transforms into the cold dark look of a moon-less sky you are horrified by the missing action.

Well, all you need to do is kiss the worries good-bye, smile and enjoy the free time at hand. Force yourself into that discomfort and watch the movies with popping corn in your hand. Take it easy!

Watch out! She has the power

As I walked out of the McDonald opposite my office, I noticed some construction work on the other side. I had just munched on two great snack wraps and was digging deep in my teeth, searching for the lost taste. I waited patiently and watched a few cars zoom past me. It was not uncommon to have a few stares.

The light turned Green for me and I started walking at an easy pace. As I crossed half the distance I saw that construction on the other side had slowed down the traffic completely. People were getting impatient and were looking at their watches. I saw a lady talking something as she steered her car in the middle lane. She looked in a hurry and I was doing what I do best when stuck in traffic. I was looking at the cars and sketching a few thoughts in my head. As she came closer to the crossing line I backed out even more, just to be safe.

She pushed the pedal, brake pedal and looked at me. Gave me a smile and waved indicating me to cross the road. I smiled, whispered 'Thank you', as I waved back. I saw cars following her, a little impatient. 'She had the power and she used it for some one's benefit' I thought as I reached the other side.

"If you want to test a man's character, give him power" - Abraham Lincon.

Need for speed!

I know the title of the post reminds you of a game which you used to play late in the nights, thinking that the morning would not come and you would continue playing. But parents played spoil-sport to it! Fantastic gaming marvel it was from EA sports!

Well, this is literal. No matter what I do, I enjoy speed. May it be biking (Beat Goes on), running or the latest passion, cycling. It is like an addiction which keeps on increasing no matter how hard I try to control. I remember missing the 5th gear in a Yamaha bike back in India, when I had experienced one of the most authentically freaked out night. Never had I experienced something like that, nor will I, EVER!

Cycling has been growing steadily with so many Biking trails around and so many PRO-bikers around. I tried racing with two of them yesterday. No match at all! They kept cruising far away the more I tried. Finally, I declared that I am dead and they disappeared as if nothing else mattered to them. However, its a sport that I used to enjoy back in my school days and which has been found again. Not that I have a light alloy based frame, but what I have is a tool to carve out memories.

Whatte-fun!! :)

Lets walk beyond distance

saw the moon painting the landscape

as I walked into the sea.

it was sharing all its thoughts

as if it was a part of me.

creating shadows on the pathway,

we both talked of sanity.

i pulled my sheets, she covered with stars,

wishing all the dreams to see.

purity, love and joy we talked,

we also talked about morality.

pain, hatred and lost passion we talked,

we spoke of insecurity.

they come, they go, dark in the moonlight,

holding hands behind the tree.

they live in heartbeats, thoughts,

and eyes for someone else to see.

just look in my eyes when you feel left out,

or when silence speaks as a bumble-bee.

hold my hand and walk outside the darkness,

lets think beyond you and me.

Alert!!

Well, don't jump out of the seat, not yet!

I became wind today. Well not really, but almost. OK fine almost almost. (Stop looking at me like that). I had a great bicycle ride today. My colleague at the new work place is a pro-biker, as I had mentioned. So I decided to check my limits. I had never got a road this clear earlier, not even in Boston. So I went like a crazy dog who is unleashed and has only an evening to live. It was a small bike ride of 9 miles and man was it fun!

Good that the Sun stays out here till 9 pm and that gives so much extra time to do new things. The start was slow and as I tasted blood (read speed) there was no looking back. 9 miles of ecstasy. Like jack outside the box without any strings attached!

When was the last time you had so much fun!

Status Update

So I have shifted to Dallas, Texas for a couple of months for an internship. I was on paid vacation for the rest of the holidays. This internship came as a sweet breeze and here I am.

I have not explored the city much but its evidently different than Boston. Actually, there is always a common fibre between places and a lots of differences. Let me share the differences part. I was welcomed by a very hot breeze. It was like going back to Nagpur in summer. While 80 deg F felt hot in Boston, here I am soaked in 105 deg F. The point is that it is hot here but I don't think very different because experience back home.

The place where I am staying is owned by an Indian professional and is a brand new place which makes my stay better. It is definitely good to be in a new place, starting a new story or listen to a new song.

I borrowed a bicycle from a friend and it feels good. Though I borrowed it to beat the stupid waiting time for buses but it is a tool to explore the new places. I am excited to ride a bike after a gap of more than 9 years. Whatte fun!!! Moreover, my team mate at work is an expert biker and has done long trails of more than 50 miles. That makes having a bicycle even more valuable, just to talk at least!

That's news from my side. Will keep posted. How are you doing?

Message in a bottle

What if? There are so many of those. This one's different.

If I had a chance to send myself a message, before five years what that message would be? Would it be about 'how to' and 'how not to'? Off course. Here goes.

Nilesh,

Hi, this is a message from future. From the year 2009 when you were enjoying summer holidays of your first year MBA from Boston College.

The first thing that I want to tell you is that stop taking life so seriously and enjoy the moments as they come. Life would be a roller-coaster ride, it has been like that for everyone you are no exception. The magnitude of the downfalls would seem bigger like a mountain. However, you would see the morning Sun and still believe in love. You would still be surrounded with problems which would seem bigger than reality, a blown up version. You would still admire beauty in the rains, smiles and simplicity. You would still care about people and would be ready to do anything it takes. People would still mis-understand you and judge you by your actions, incomplete image. Here in Boston, you would still find familiarities with people and be surprised by the differences.

The second thing is that start dreaming big. Its an important step towards making life better. Dream in all possible ways, as you would read that "Dream is an exercise bicycle for the mind." So flex your mind and learn many different things in life. Love your music, write more often, read more books, spend more time cooking. Coupled with all these activities start dreaming big. Explore your boundaries and keep pushing them, far enough to engulf everything. Make the sky your canvass.

The final thing would be to keep re-visiting yourself. Write something and be amazed about what you had written and how different your thoughts were at that point in time. You would meet people who would care-less and care the most about you. You would find many friends who would walk with you and some who would change their tracks with time. There are enough reasons for you to believe in yourself and your thoughts. However, you would also be puzzled trying to absorb others' thoughts. Don't run behind them, rather enjoy the company and make memories.

Yours,

Nilesh.

PS: Enjoy every step.

Next BIG thing???

What would be the next most talked about thing in technology space? i-phone was the last boom that changed the way we communicate. Business combined with personal life. Life made complete with more choices or you can say more confusing. Its a weapon, beware what you are using it for.

However, with the space left open for sometime I am forced to wonder what would be the next BIG thing. Companies like Google, Apple and Microsoft are fighting their breath off to capture markets or rather revolutionize the way things are done. Microsoft, though, has been on the hindsight in this race and Google capturing the Internet arena and Apple taking the electronics space.

So post your response to what you think would be the next big thing or post your comments on 'what makes companies like Apple or Google sell themselves?'

finding a cure

the grip of my hand, addicted

to the dropping sand.

Feeling the loss of the travelling trees,

paying homage to the planted seeds.

cursing the sad words that form me,

my poems and form my destiny.

I feel like I am walking away 

if not from the world, then atleast me. 

Packed in a bag

i dried up all the oceans today.

the quench of thirst pinched me again,

the reflections of stars made me jealous.

i walked up the stream today.

i had heard them say,

its going to rain on top of the hill.

i ran the last yard today.

i had that coming for me

since a life or longer.

i heard the death speak today.

i had the life walk with me,

but it was just getting too dark here.

i heard the footsteps today.

it was just another evening,

like the last one.

i feel happiness become me today.

for i have left the past on its own,

it was packed in a bag, just in case. 

Guaranteed Lyrics

Guaranteed

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breath

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wive's they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering
but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satellite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed... 

Snapshots

Another stumbled upon song

So I keep browsing the stupid thing called WWW and I find some awesome stuff that changes the moments to come. 

This is a loud and haunting song that I came across randomly. Song is called Uninvited and is sung by Alanis Morissette. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjTB6EG3xGo&feature=related

Splashes of colors

So here is the recipe. Pick your favorite color: Blue? OK. Now throw a can of blue on the spotless white wall. Let it follow its own random pattern. Next, take your second favorite color: Red? OK. Do what you did with Blue and let both of them have some overlapping area and let some of it have its own identity. Go crazy now and take all the colors and start splashing the small cans of them on the wall which was white first. 

Well, that's another way to define life. May be yours, may be mine. Every color has its own significance and you are bombarded with colors all the time. Some of them are painted with a fine brush and elegant strokes. Some of them are born because the bumpy road you had to take to avoid the traffic and reach somewhere early. Many fingerprints are left on the wall as people find and fill empty spots on the wall. Some simply go unnoticed.

Colors and music are so similar and yet are so different. They become haunting when the lights go dim and beautiful when experienced with a good company. Intensity of both can be controlled and yet can be felt intensely with open mind. Like a wild wind running as a child, these colors have their effects and importance. When they get up and get a life of their own, they form shades. Shades define the moment, picture and life. 

What if

What if I wake up tomorrow and find out that the people I knew all through my life were part of a dream. A dream that I was playing in my head while I was in a Coma and all of a sudden I got out of the dark side and its dark again?

This identity defying thought ventured in so many times and I am still lost to find a solution to this 'What if'. So when I go home and find that the house is there but no one inside who knows me or whom I know and they were NEVER there, how would I react? What if I can see the same view that I had witnessed in my dream but nothing more than that matches with the reality? 

Would I drown myself in the pain of having no one around or I would start something new? Will I trust anything more in my life or would I just walk out to find new faces? If I do find new people what should I do to make sure that this is not another dream? Haunting as it seems this thought is also comforting to some extent. Strange? Yes, its strange even to me. 

Its like the music that you listen to again and again and then it starts being part of your system. The box shaped car that you see your neighbour driving everyday and you start liking some features of it. Like some false political promises which come into being, cyclically with time. 

story of ants and grasshopper

so some tales are here to last. may be when i grow older as a grandfather i will repeat this story. the reason for this would be simple, its a story applicable over various facets of life. 

in the current economic meltdown car manufacturers have crashed down and are caught in the tornado which is forcing them to be puppets. however, a salient feature which has kept Japanese and Korean manufacturers up is their ability to save when it is summer. these companies have truly been global in terms of adapting to changing cultures in their respective markets. Hyundai Motors Co has made India its small car manufacturing hub.

well this is also applicable for people who were not investing greedily in the Wall Streets and Dalal Streets of the financial worlds. there were some of my colleagues who were cautiously approaching their investments and there were a few who were lost in thoughts of early retirements. finally the ship has sunk and many are left with dreams. 

just read a great article on Toyota and how it has faced challenges and what lies ahead. Would like to share it with you guys. 

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2155

a new template

i had been planning this for a long time. i finally changed the template of my journey. 

i find this one very simple, clean and pure. something without any judgements and demands. like a free bird in the sky. 

so for me this template will be my "SKY".

have you watched a puddle that has been created by your footsteps on a beach? watch it fill with water. it lets the water fill in, absorbs it and then the void is gone. the sand comes to its original condition. simple, right? think again!!!

Letting go...

Now a days, with the thought of what others would think of my thoughts I have limited expressing, literally. I feel like a lost elephant in a new jungle. This comes to me as a shock, that even this blog seems like a page borrowed page from someone which I might have to return back. The drawn pictures, the wet leaves cease to exist. As a dear friend had mentioned "I hate short-talks".

I am feeling a bit nostalgic of the times in Mumbai. I am missing the stupid times I have had enjoyed at IIT Powai's Lake House. It was not only a spot where we went recluse but also enjoyed being silent for a change. The crazy dancing, singing and future plans were all witnessed by those moments. Rohit's adventure with his new camera, bike rides, swaying platform on the lake and Pizza party are so fresh in memory. Most visited address searched in the google of my brain. 

I am still confused with how people act situational, me included!! Is the algorithm scribbled in the same way for everyone? Yesterday this fact led me into a long discussion with a couple of friends. This discussion brought me to the same conclusion "don't expect anything from anyone and you are better off". GoSo are you listening? 

Life has slowly become like an artifact which is absorbed with the colors of past. When the colors were wet and the canvass blank, it was glorious. I want a new page on this canvass so that I can start a new adventure. May be it also signifies that I get lost with the small things in life. Get too people centric. Too mechanical. 

PS: As I mention the drawn pictures, I remember the college bag of Ninzee. A mechanical form of Lord Ganesh was drawn on it. Wonder what rules the mind of that artist?